saturday i went to a funeral and did not cry. this is the first time this has happened since my friend jordan died when i was a junior in high school. the last funeral i attended was the worst. to this day, even almost a year later, i still have random moments of sadness where in i cannot control myself and breakdown into tears. i miss my friend greatly and will continue to miss him greatly. thanks to him i feel i am who i am. he was an influence and a mentor of sorts. he was a great man and everyone that knew him will agree.
thank you caleb for everything. i miss you and love you man.
my lack of tears shed has made me question the changes that have occurred in my life and ponder their long-term affects. am i now a man that can develop nor hold an emotional attachment to friends due to my fear of losing them. im sorry i cannot beat this fear and i hold on to no hope that i will ever be able to beat it.
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